The Pandorica Opens

As River would say: SPOILERS!

"You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe!"
"You wouldn't answer your phone!" - The Doctor and River Song

Hooray for an excellent first part to the series finalé! The opening moments act as a sort of more creative synopsis to the series than a more affordable and resolutely dreary clip show, in the first scene we're treated to a relentlessly brutal depiction of Vincent's madness, screaming and writhing next to a painting. A message for the Doctor.

Vincent gets more brutal

This genuine Van Gogh makes it's way to the cabinet war rooms, whereby our old friend Winston makes a call to the TARDIS. Unfortunately he gets it a bit wrong and ends up calling Stormcage, the detention centre where River is being held. This prompts her to act on the poor new lad who's just started work there and make her escape, bumping into Liz 10 along route.
This episode's opening scenes therefore make a great contrast to it's ending, the first 7 minutes make for a light hearted, farcical trip down memory lane that doesn't disappoint to conger up memories of the past episodes. Of course Who conspiracy theorists were labelling a return of various other characters like Mo and Craig. Fortunately we didn't have to endure this.




Anyway, we've been wanting to know what the cracks in the universe mean and finally we get an answer. The TARDIS is going Bye-bye. At some point the TARDIS is going to explode and rip asunder the universe. But when and how we don't know, and of course it must be linked with the Pandorica, because otherwise why would every monster the series has ever known be interested in it?



They're all out to play in this one. I told you the Daleks would be back. What I didn't expect though was an alliance with the lot of them. One thing that gets me now is the number of Cybusmen that keep popping up in our universe. All the same it is sort of explained why they're here but still, it's starting to irritate me slightly. I wanna see Mondas Cybermen. Though whilst I'm on the tin men, let's talk scary.

"You will be assimilated"

The Cybermen are back and are once again scary. I mean that was creepy. Cybermen at their relentlessly best. And as a geek I couldn't help but get giddy when the famous Borg Motto was appropriated. Moffat does justice to the classic creatures by bringing some Terminator terror to the table. God I love alliteration. Anyway the whole scene was possibly my favourite from the episode, with a writhing head, skulls popping out and decapitated bodies roaming around poorly lit tombs, what more can a man want? Discounting Beer.

"Don't raise your voice and don't look surprised, just listen"

River in this episode turns super sleuth, with a nice bit of added mystery when the TARDIS gets flung forward to next Saturday and River begins her investigation of Amy's ransacked house. In it she makes a horrifying discovery that everything she's just witnessed is straight out of the books on her bedside table. As the TARDIS starts to take off again, she realises she's in peril as something else seems to be controlling it. The whole scene is gloriously eerie, playing on the fears of ghosts and abandoned houses, and reinforces the Doctor's point. If she's all alone, why does she have a big house all to herself?

"One minute I was dead, the next I was Roman. It's all very distracting"

Is it my imagination or does he get cuter each episode? Never mind, just me. Okay Rory is back and has to deal with the reality his girlfriend has forgotten him. Wait till he finds out he's an Auton. Yes like a Daily Mirror Page 3 girl reunion an army of plastic has descended on the Doctor, all with the purpose of being jail keeper, for as it turns out, the Doctor told us what the Pandorica was in the first 10 minutes. A pity then he didn't listen to himself.

Another one down
And in following tradition now for who yet another companion gets bumped off. Adric was doing it before it was cool. It makes for a bitter sweet ending, as the drama of the TARDIS exploding around River and as we see the Doctor locked away for eternity, Amy dies and so does the Universe. But don't think her death is as permanent as it seems...